Waiting.

Sometimes in life that is all you can do, wait, for a change to occur. Personally I find waiting to be almost therapeutic, which is why I have no problems in waiting in hides for the wonders of nature to appear before my very eyes.

I’ll not lie, that last lockdown, well, it bulldozed me. Mainly because I’d then been in almost continuous lockdown for over a year, as many of us have been due to concerns with ours or our partners health.

And then I found I was stuck, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t write, I didn’t knit, I haven’t sewn and at its worst, which was for many weeks hubby did the cooking. And to be perfectly honest I have no idea what I did. I know some days I was up for a maximum of a few hours, before returning to my den to hibernate once more.

At this point, I was thinking, do I need to go to the doctors? Do I need antidepressants? So I decided I’d wait.

And at one stage I seriously doubted that I was going to be able to click out of it without some sort of intervention.

But I tried to keep going. I joined a slimming club, and rejoined my swimming pool, but that didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped, they are closing and the hygiene is becoming extremely questionable and I’m no prude, I take the rough with the smooth, but when your skidding across the flour because its slimy, noooo. So I joined another swimming pool and that one is lovely and clean. Started a new dog walking regime and started cooking again.

And then it happened.

And I have no idea what happened, but last week, half way through the evening my brain cleared.

I didn’t think much of it, it wasn’t like a big bang or anything, just a change in perception. And I’ve had to think about when this happened to try and realise what if anything did happen.

The next morning, it remained.

I’ve been a bit startled. I’ve been waiting for it to close down again, but it remains.

It is early days, but I am hopeful, that change has occurred and will continue.

I’m going to toddle off to the allotment this weekend, and I’m so glad that hubby has kept it going for me.

And you know who you are, for those that contacted me in my quiet time,

thank you.

3 thoughts on “Waiting.

  1. Jenny Dukeshire says:

    I have been the same Mandy but different reasons. I had 20cms of colon removed four weeks ago and have been in really bad pain since. Yesterday I had an urgent CT scan and hope to hear today what’s going on. Saw the surgeon on Tuesday and had the scan on Thursday. Not much waiting.
    I have not been able to even walk in that time, it’s been awful. Scott did it all but he can’t cook so he bought frozen which kept him going. I haven’t been able to eat and barely drink. I haven’t been around much either on FB or anything else.

    Like

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