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The start of my allotment year started when hubby became so poorly in July of last year. I don’t think it had really dawned on me what was happening, we still had hope. At the time I was just trying to keep the allotment going with watering along with daily long trips to the hospital and just an over whelming sense of exhaustion. After hubby died I was glad of the winter in which time I had to rest but of course there were oh so many jobs that had simply not been done, along with a rat infestation in the shed to deal with. Son no.1 came along during the winter on a dry day and helped me clear out the shed and helped dispose of bag fulls of rubbish that had accumulated and next on the list were the dandelions that had established over winter and big swathes of grass on the undug winter soil. Without his help I don’t think I would be in such a great position as I am with the allotment today.

Then every dry winter afternoon I worked on the plot. I’d wander up their about midday and work until the chill came about 3.30 pm. I’d never worked a plot on my own before and there was a lot to do. I’d often done most of the winter digging and grown the seeds, but then hubby would have dug over the compost bin and moved muck – these jobs are still on my to do list, along with doing all of the planting. So I dug and dug and dug some more and planted seeds and tried to remember where I’d put things and just worked on the premise that every step was a step forward.

There were many days that I got home cold, tired and exhausted. Greeted and fed the dogs and then stood under a hot shower to try and warm the bones of me in what was a very cold house due to the fear of excessive fuel bills this winter. Sometimes I’d start a coal fire up, having prepared it before going out, at my worst, I’d switch on the heated throw on the bed and me and the dogs would crawl into bed with a film and a good book. I didn’t mind those nights, they were quite cosy. And it gave me longer in bed which rested my lower back which had been injured during one of the many visits to the hospital on the mini bus going over at speed a hump in the road. Ten months later it is only just starting to improve.

In spring the allotment needs increase and at that time it is a race, one that starts very slowly while we allotmenteers are carefully weighing up the weather conditions, we may even test the weather by planting a few plants, but we know we are taking a risk. And then, almost overnight, the weather changes and it becomes a race to get everything in. That is when it is important to have consistency, two to three hours every day wins this race. It is very important not to over do it and get an injury or you risk losing out on a years work.

My biggest fear has been not being able to manage the allotment on my own. I don’t drive which brings its own constraints. I’m still not 100% sure I will manage it. Sometimes I’ve come home exhausted, my back aches, my legs, arms, neck ache, I’ve wanted to cry and to throw in the towel. I’m giving myself two years to tickle the allotment into really good shape. But I am proud to tell you all that I’ve just put my leeks in. The last of the veg has gone in on the Summer Solstice.. It just feels so symbolic, I did it! I got all my veg in! The greenhouse is flourishing, the veg is growing, I’m even befriending crows! And the allotment cat is never far from my side, she clearly approves of my endeavours.

As every month passes I feel my confidence grow both in being able to handle the allotment but also my own life on my own. I don’t feel as lonely in the house, the chatter in my brain keeps me good company, thinking about the vegetables I’m growing and what to make with them along with firing up my sewing machine to take some of my clothes in as I’ve lost a fair bit of weight (intentionally) or even getting around to the odd row of knitting. So it is time to wake the blog back up and chatter about all things in my world, the crazy that is me.