My son has just come into the study with a not very happy pussy cat, she hates to be picked up, she’s twelve so she’s not going to change.

“Mum” he says, “Willow has got a lump”

I gasp.

“Where” I say.

He tries to turn her over, “its on her belly”, all sorts of medical problems whooosh through my head. She does her up most to escape, I exclaim to my son not to let her escape which he does from his firm grip and then he quickly closes the study door, fortunately he doesn’t trap a cats head in it, (but really it was a very close call).

He then brings her to his lap and turns her over for my inspection. Again I say “where” and he says “here”

And how do you say this to a teenage lad..

Although I managed to find the words in my heightened anxiety,, “Son, its just a nipple”

“Oh is it?” in slightly embarrassed tones..

“Yep, it is”

“Okay”

“I really think you should go and feed her after all of this”,

Which he then did. Bless him..